I want to talk to you about my life before and after hijab. I am a Muslim girl 20 years old from Arabian Gulf, "The original place of Islam." I used to believe that hijab is not an important issue. And it's lacking my freedom. So I decided that I would never were hijab as long as I live. Although my mother wears hijab
but she never convinces my sisters or me to wear it. She thought that
you have to believe in it to do it or else you will take it off as soon
as we are far away from her. And I think that it might be right in some
way.
Or it might make hijab more difficult for us when we get
older. It is so hard to get used to something for your whole life and
change it at once. It will take you a long time to change your mind. Any
way, I used to love to show up specially that I am not bad looking at
all. And that was the most difficult part. I used to love to dress up
and buy expensive clothes and I loved it when every one was looking and
pointing at me. I used to love it when some says, "Wow! She's
beautiful."
After I finished my High school I decided to go to have my degree in
the United States. I saw a thing in there that I have not ever seen
before. It is Muslim society and community. It's amazing society with
perfect Muslims. They are practicing Islam in a different way that we
got used to it. Muslims in Gulf aria have been borne Muslims. Arabs
didn't have to ask any questions because every thing is obvious. We
didn't have to think about faith and how to believe in God, because we
were raised and every one around us is Muslim. We didn't know what's the
real Islam and how does it feel to live between all different religious
and a mix society. And I just realized that people in Gulf didn't
practice pure religion, but they had a mixture between Islam and
culture. So many things that I thought it was an Islamic terms turned
out to be a culture believe. And they are absolutely wrong aspects. I
learned that the pure Islam is not the one that we were raised on which
is full of nonsense stuff that we had in our culture since a long time
ago. The real Islam is only in Qur'an and Sunnah.
When people in the states find out that I am Muslim, they always ask so many questions about Islam and most the time I can't find an answer to their questions. So I started to go searching and looking in Islamic books and in Internet about Islam "the real thing." I was like someone has not heard any thing about Islam before. I learned so many things that I have not knew.. I started to go to the mosque and sit with so many brothers and sisters talking and discussing Islam matters. I swear that I have never gone to any mosque in my country or even think about it. Although we had thousands of Mosques back home. All the sisters in the mosque were wearing hijab except me. And they were all Americans except me. And they wear all broad about it and I respected them so much for that. I started to think about it all the time.
And I started to have so many dreams about me wearing the hijab.
I started to have some strange feeling towered my self; I hated it when
someone was looking at me. I felt that I was only a picture without a
heart or a brain. I finally decided to go for it and wear the hijab.
It was the best choice I have ever had. For the first time in my life; I
felt that I am a strong person. Because I will go for what I believe
in, and I didn't care of what people think of it or how they will look
at me.
First day of hijab was the best. I never felt so good and
broad in my whole life of my self as much as I felt in that day. My
friends and relatives didn't believe that I could do it. And every one
said that I won't keep it for too long. And that maybe one of the things
that pushed me to keep it until this day. I had to go through a fight
with my self. My self which always loved this life any try to enjoy it
as much as I could. Now was time to say stop, and I did. After a while
every one started to respect me so much that no one had treat me like
that before. Every one believed in me so much because they knew that I
am a religious person. And what gave them that expression? It's the hijab.
I can go every where now and no one would look at me as if I was a
picture or a dummy. Never the less I still dress up good and put make up
when I am with my sisters and that turned out to be more fun.
I believe that God demand hijab to help us and to make our
life easier. It builds respect between men and women. Also, it's a
matter of keeping your body to your self or who God allowed you to show (mahram).
It is also a sign that show that you are Muslim, like in all religious.
For example, Jewish wears a small cup on top of their heads and
Christians wear a cross. And non of those two feels ashamed to show it
to public. No man would think badly about a woman who is wearing a hijab so that will provide her to fall in mistakes (khati'ah) or something that is (haram). A person who can wear hijab
is strong enough to do any thing else and to go through any problems
that she may face in all life matter. Every one around you will trust
you in every thing because you trust your self. Don't you think your
body is so important? And don't you think your body is that valuable? You
don't need some one to tell you that you're beautiful because you know
that. And you don't need someone to look at you as if you were a
beautiful drawing or a picture because you're a human being.
As salamu alaykum warahmatallah wabarakatuh.
(please forward this to all the people you know, I want every one to read my story)
May God bless you, jazakumallah khayran.
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