“Ah! Woe to me! If only I had never taken so-and-so as a
friend! He indeed led me astray from the Reminder after it had come to
me!” [al-Furqan; 28-29]
2 – The Messenger of Allah said:
“A person is upon the way of his friend. So, let one of you look to whom he keeps as a friend.”
[‘Sahih al-Jami” (3545) and ‘as-Silsilah as-Sahihah’ (927)]
3 – ‘Abdullah bin Ahmad bin Hambal said:
“My father went out to Tarsus on foot, and he performed two or
three Hajjs on foot, and he was the most patient of people upon being
alone.”
[‘Tarjamat al-Imam Ahmad'; p. 18]
4 – Ibn al-Qayyim said:
“Know that the greatest of losses is for you to be preoccupied
with one who will bring you nothing but a loss in your time with Allah –
the Mighty and Majestic – and being cut off from Him, a wasting your
time with the person, a weakening of your energy, and the dispersing of
your resolve. So, if you are tested with this – and you must be tested
with this – deal with him according to how Allah would wish, and be
patient with him as much as possible. Get closer to Allah and His
Pleasure by way of this person, and make your getting together with him
something to benefit from, not something to incur a loss from. Be with
him as if you are a man who is on a road who was stopped by another man,
who then asks you to take him on your journey. Make sure that you are
the one who gives him a ride, and that he is not the one giving you the
ride. If he refuses, and there is nothing to gain from traveling with
him, do not stop for him, bid him farewell, and do not even turn back to
look at him, as he is a highway robber, regardless of who he really is.
So, save your heart, be wary of how you spend your days and
nights, and do not let the Sun set before you arrive at your
destination.”
[‘al-Wabil as-Sayyib'; p. 45]
“So, it is upon the student of knowledge to abandon
socialization, as abandoning it is from the most important things that
the student of knowledge must do – let alone with members of the
opposite gender – especially with those who spend most of their time in
play, and spend little of their time in thought, as the nature of
individuals can rob you.
The harms of socialization include the passing of life without
any benefit, as well as the decline of wealth and religious practice, if
this socialization were to occur with the wrong people.
The student of knowledge should not mix except with either those
who he can benefit, or can benefit from. And if he is offered the
friendship of one who will waste his time with him, will not benefit
him, will not benefit from him, and will not assist him in reaching his
objective, he should politely end the relationship from the start before
it progresses to something deeper, as when something becomes
established, it becomes more difficult to change it. There is a phrase
that is constantly on the tongues of the Fuqaha’: ‘Repelling something
is easier than removing it.’
So, if he requires someone to befriend, let that person be
righteous, religious, pious, wary, intelligent, full of benefit, having
little evil, good at complying, rarely conflicting, reminding him if he
forgets, cooperating with him when he is reminded, helpful if he is in
need, and comforting if he is in distress.”
[‘Tadhkirat as-Sami’ wal-Mutakallim'; p. 83]
6 – Ibn Qudamah al-Maqdisi said:
“Know that not everyone is suitable to be your friend. You must
verify that this potential friend has the necessary characteristics
that make friendship with him something to be desired. The one you seek
to befriend must have five characteristics:
* He must be intelligent, as there is no good in befriending an
idiot, as he will only harm you when he wants to benefit you. By
intelligent, we mean one who understands things as they are, either on
his own, or if they are explained to him;
* He must have good manners, and this is a must. One who is
simply intelligent might be overcome by anger or desire, and obey his
desire. Thus, there would be no benefit in befriending him;
* He must not be a fasiq, as such a person would not fear Allah, and whoever does not fear Allah cannot be trusted;
* He must not be an innovator, as his abundance of innovation is feared from befriending him;
* He should not be eager for the dunya.”
[‘Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasidin'; p. 126-132]
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