Intermingling

I begin in the name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful.

Assalamualaikum,


Lets discuss about the intermingling of non-mehram men and women that takes place in person as well as on the internet.

This topic in discussion is one that will surely create some controversy amongst the minds of many. Some of you may read the first paragraph and decide you would like to read no further. Others may read the entire post and quietly dismiss what is said. However I place a small request before you: please do ponder upon what is said. Jazakallah.

Muslims must also adhere and submit to the rulings which prohibit intermixing mixing between men and women. There are many Islamic texts in this regard, such as the Hadeeth which is narrated by ‘Uqbah Ibn ‘Aamir Allaah be pleased with him" that the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Do not enter into the presence of women.” A man from the Ansaar then retorted: ‘What about our in-laws’ - referring to the relatives of a woman's husband such as his brothers, cousins, and their children, so the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “The in-laws are death” [Al-Bukhaari & Muslim] which means that they are more harmful to women than death is to the soul. The previous evidence came from the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, whose words were nothing but revelation. So how could anybody ever accept anyone else's opinion over this?

You may all agree that having a physical relationship with a non-mehram is totally forbidden in Islam. And if one was to transgress these boundaries then punishment would be the inevitable consequence. However, if one was to put it simply then we would agree that any form of communication that is likely to lead to ones carnal desires being aroused, is strictly forbidden. One does not know whether one's desires will be aroused or not- though there is always a possibility, hence such communication is forbidden.

By communication I mean conversations between a non mehram man and a woman in person, or via the phone, even by a mere look and yes, let me utter the deadly words, the most common form of communication amongst non-mehrams is taking place on the internet. It is the most easiest form and sadly it is succeeding beyond measure in corrupting our minds and leading us astray.

One specific ploy used by people who want to make an excuse to chat to the opposite sex, is to refer to them as their 'brother' and 'sister.' Does this really convince you that what you are doing is islamically acceptable? Yes, every muslim is a brother and sister to one another, but these so called brothers and sisters of ours are people who we can marry, hence the ruling of it being forbidden.

Neither does the excuse of being 'friends' work because such a thing as friends between a non-mehram man and a woman does not exist in Islam.

Is it fair, that this very Prophet who experienced such hardship and pain for the sake of his ummah to remain strong on his/her Imaan, so that Allah may grant his ummah salvation from hell, this very Prophet's teachings are being torn to shreds. Do we feel even the slightest bit of remorse?

However, there is a type of communication in Islam that is permitted. This is the contact between a non-mehram man and woman who communicate for the sake of Islam. But please note only in extreme cases of necessity. Those whose sole purpose is to gain knowledge for the betterment of their own imaan, as well as the entire ummah.
Truly, this can be seen taking place at the time of the Prophet (saw) and his blessed companions. The Mother of the Believers hazrat Aishah (ra) has related many hadiths to inform the ummah of the blessed ways of our Prophet(saw) These hadiths were asked by the noble companions of the Prophet (saw) upon which hazrat Aisha use to reply behind a screen in the most modest manner. Yes, indeed this is a perfect example that clearly shows such communication is permitted in Islam.

However, I ask you, what has become of us today? We use this very excuse of propagating Islam and instead misuse it to suit our desires. Yes, once in a while an Islamic issue may crop up but other times? Other times, readers we are involved in deep conversations be it MSN or any other way, we are involved in many hours of zina. What is the need in speaking to a non-mehram about personal issues, about petty issues which are simply not necessary.

Ofcorse one may say 'my intentions are pure' truly I do not doubt that for one moment. However, all would agree that Shaytan makes it a duty upon himself to convert these intentions to please him. Muslims are urged 'Believing men and women keep your gazes down' This shows that despite having pure intentions one can easily fall into the trap of shaytan, therefore even the slightest bit of temptation is prohibitted from the start. Before any thing even takes place. Id like to apply this same aspect to internet chatting. Readers do not even go near unnecessary chatting between non-mehrams on the internet for this is the path leading to zina. We are mere mortals, we can not always control our desires, it may begin as an 'islamic issue' but result in zina.

I would like to conclude by saying that yes you may find the views outlined in my entries very extreme. However as is often said 'the truth is bitter' An ill person has to undergo severe treatment and drink bad tasting medicine as a cure. Similarly this email is being put before you regardless of how bitter it sounds. I apologize for anything said that may have caused offense.

It is not permitted for anyone to discuss and pass judgment regarding this issue without having the proper Islamic knowledge to be able to do so. Nor should they base their discussion and opinion on unfounded claims with no evidence, or simply argue on the basis of their base desires. Rather, one should be sincere and free themselves from their base desires which will divert them far away from the truth. In addition, one must have a broad knowledge of Islam and possess the ability to differentiate between authentic and weak evidences, possess a clear understanding of the relevant evidences as well as the ability to properly extract Islamic rulings from these evidences; only then can a person become eligible to discuss this issue.
The outcome of what we say or write is the matter which we must fear the most, and are extremely wary of its consequence, as the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, clarified to Mu’aath Ibn Jabal Allaah be pleased with him" after he had asked with astonishment: "Will we be held responsible for all that we say?" The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, replied: “What do you think makes people land on their faces or noses into the Hellfire more than the product of their tongues?” [Ahmad, Abu Daawood & At-Tirmithi].


JazakAllah for reading.