Prophet (saws) was Patient with his Wives!

Allah has described His beloved Messenger with the words: “Now has come unto you a Messenger from amongst yourselves: it grieves him that you should perish; ardently anxious is he over you; to the Believers he is most kind and merciful. But if they turn away, say: Allah is enough for me: there is none worthy of worship other than He; in Him is my trust; He the Lord of the Throne [of Glory] Supreme!” [9:128] 

The qualities of mercy, kindness, and leniency in the prophet’s personality are best exhibited in his relationship with his wives and these can be seen in the following examples: 
It is narrated by Anas: “Every night the Prophet’s (saws) wives used to collect in the house of the wife whose turn it was. Zaynab entered ‘A’ishah’s house and the Prophet (saws) extended his hand, so ‘A’ishah said: She is Zaynab. So the Prophet (saws) closed his fist, and both (wives) began arguing until their voices became very loud. Abu Bakr, who was passing by, heard them and said, I feel like throwing dirt in their mouths. The time for prayer approached, so the Prophet (saws) got up and left without saying anything to her, but Abu Bakr came back and scolded 'A'ishah.” [Sahih Muslim] 

The Prophet's (saws) patience and kindness can be seen in the way he treated his wives here. Even though they were arguing with each other infront of him, he did not rebuke them. An-Nawawi says regarding this: 
'I feel like throwing dirt in their mouths' is an exaggerated expression to scold them and make them stop arguing. Abu Bakr should be recognized for having the compassion and desire to make peace between the two women, and  the hadith shows even more merit on the Prophet's (saws) part for trying to make peace between the wives (by refraining from saying anything. [Sharh Muslim by An-Nawawi, 10/39]

According to a hadith narrated by 'Urwah, 'A'ishah said: The wives of Allah's Messenger (saws) were in two groups. One group consisted of 'A'ishah, Hafsah, Safiyah and Sawdah, whilst the other group consisted of Umm Salamah and the rest of the wives. The Muslims knew that the Prophet (saws) loved 'A'ishah, so if anyone wanted to give a gift to him, he would delay it until the Prophet (saws) was in 'A'ishah's home, and then he would send his gift to the Prophet (saws) there. The group of Umm Salamah discussed this issue with each other and decided to send Umm  Salamah to the Prophet (saws), requesting him to ask the people to send their gifts to him in whichever wife's  house he was. Umm Salamah spoke to him about it, but he did not reply to her. When the wives in her group asked Umm Salamah about it, she said: He did not say anything to me. They told her to try again, so she spoke to him again when he came to her house on her day, but he still did not reply to her. When they asked her, she told them that he had given no reply. They said to her: Keep asking him till he gives you a reply. Hence, when it Was her tum,  she talked to  him  again, and he replied saying: Do not hurt me regarding 'A'ishah, as the  revelation does not  come to me on the bed of any other woman other than A'ishah. Upon hearing this, Umm Salamah said: I repent to Allah for hurting you. Then the group of Umm Salamah called Fatimah, the Prophet's (saws) daughter, and sent her to him, with the message that his wives were requesting him to treat them and the daughter of Abu Bakr on equal terms.  Fatimah conveyed this message to him. The Prophet (saws) said to Fatimah:  Don't you love whom I love? She replied in the affirmative, and went back and told the wives about this. They requested her to go back to him again, but she refused. Then they sent Zainab bint Jahsh to him, who went and spoke harshly, saying: Your wives request you to treat them and the daughter of Abu Quhafah on equal terms. Whilst saying this, she raised her voice and turned to 'A'ishah, who was sitting there, and insulted her so much that the Prophet (saws) looked at 'A'ishah to see if she would retort. 'A'ishah then answered Zaynab back until she had silenced her. The Prophet (saws) looked at 'A'ishah and said: She is truly Abu Bakr's daughter." [Sahih Bukhari] 
In this Hadith, the Prophet (saws) was not being unjust to his other wives on behalf of 'A'ishah. What his Companions did, they did because they honoured 'A’ishah due to the Prophet's (saws) love for her. As for the Prophet's (saws) attitude towards his wives, it was based on patience and kindness, without being harsh with  them, or scolding them for daring to bring this up with him. [Al-Hayat az-Zawjiyyah min Mindhar ash-Shar‘iyyah, p. 91] 

Ibn 'Abbas narrated: “I spent an entire year, hesitating to ask 'Umar about the two women Who had assisted each other against the Prophet (saws), because I was afraid of him. One day he dismounted his riding animal and went among the trees of Arak to answer the call of nature. When he returned, I asked him about it, and he replied:  'A'ishah and Hafsah. 
'Umar added: We never gave any importance to women in the days of ignorance, but after the advent of Islam, and upon seeing that Allah Himself mentioned them, we realized that they also have rights upon us. However, we still did not allow them to interfere in our affairs. Once there was a dispute between me and my wife, and she answered back to me in a loud voice. I said to her: Strange! You have come this extent?' She said: You are saying this to me, whilst your own daughter replies to Allah's Messenger (saws) in the same way. 
Therefore, I went to Hafsah and said to her: I warn you not to disobey Allah and His Messenger. Then I went to Umm Salamah and told her the same. She, however, replied to me, saying: O 'Umar! It surprises me to see that you keep interfering in our affairs so much so that you are now meddling into the personal affairs of the Prophet (saws) and his wives. Hence, she rejected my advice. 

There was a man amongst the Helpers, with whom I had an arrangement, that whenever he was absent and I was with the Prophet (saws), I would tell him about what had happened that day, and when I was absent and he was  present, he would tell me about what had happened. At that time, all the rulers of the nearby lands had surrendered  to the Prophet (saws) except the Syrian King of Ghassan, from whom we feared an impending attack. All of a sudden, that man from the Helpers came and said: A catastrophe has occurred! I asked him: What is it? Has the Ghasani (King) come? He said: Worse than that! Allah's Messenger (saws) has divorced his wives! I went to see and heard the sound of crying coming from the houses of all of the wives. I was told that the Prophet (saws) had ascended to an upper room of his. At the door of that room, there was a slave to whom I went and said: Seek the Prophet's (saws) permission to allow me to enter. He allowed me in, and I went in to see that the Prophet (saws) was lying on a mat. The (saws) mat had left an imprint on his side. Under his head was a leather pillow stuffed with palm fibres. There were some hides hanging there and some grasses used for tanning. I mentioned to him what I had said to Hafsah and Umm Salamah, and the reply that Umm Salamah had given to me. Upon hearing it, Allah's Messenger (saws) laughed. He stayed there for twenty-nine days and then came down. [Sahih Bukhari] 
Notice the magnificent patience that the Prophet (saws) displayed in this issue. When 'Umar's wife retorted to her husband over some issues, 'Umar took it as a great offence; yet the Prophet's (saws) wives were used to answering him back, arguing with him and having discussions with him, and he would calmly listen to them without denying them this indulgence. This shows the humility, mercy, and kindness with which he dealt with his wives. In fact, he was so kind and patient with his wives that they would talk back to him and abandon him until night came, but he would remain patient and forgiving with them. 

It is narrated by Nu'man ibn Basheer: "Abu Bakr came and sought permission to enter the Prophet's (saws) house. He heard 'A'ishah raising her voice over that of the Prophet's (saws). After being permitted, he entered, got hold of her,  and said: O daughter of Umm Rooman, why are you raising your voice over that of the Messenger of Allah (saws)? The Prophet (saws) intervened and prevented him from hitting his daughter. When Abu Bakr left, the Prophet (saws) consoled her and said: Did you see how I saved you from him? After a while, Abu Bakr returned, sought permission to enter, and this time he saw the Prophet (saws) joking and laughing with 'A'ishah. Abu Bakr said: O Messenger of Allah (saws), allow me to be part of your peace, just as you have allowed me to be part of your conflict." [Musnad Imam Ahmad] 
This is where many people mistakenly think that life after marriage is like a little heaven for the two spouses, where not even a shadow of problems and conflicts could appear. In reality, the opposite is true, and Allah's way is to test humankind through many different kinds of trials: 
“He Who  created  Death  and Life,  that He may  try which  of you is best  in deed;  and  He  is the  Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving.” [67:2] 
Furthermore, the patience of the Messenger of Allah (saws) can also be seen through this Hadith. 

“The Prophet (saws) was sent some food (by one of his other wives, whilst he was in ‘A’ishah’s house). 'A'ishah came and struck the hand of the servant, which caused the dish to fall and break, (spilling the food on the floor). The Prophet (saws) gathered the broken pieces of the dish, collected in them the remnants of the spilt food, and said to those present: Eat, your mother became jealous, your mother became jealous.” [Sunan an-Nisa'ee] 
This Hadith serves as a good reminder for us all, teaching us how the Prophet (saws) used to interact with his wives.