"I will marry her and change her !!!"

There was an interesting individual from the time of the Tabi’een, whose name was ‘Imran ibn Ḥiṭṭān. Both Imam al-Dhahabi and Imam Ibn Kathir mentioned his biography in their historical works.

Ibn Kathir, in his massive work of history, al-Bidayah w’al-Nihayah, summarized ibn Ḥiṭṭān’s biography by writing:
عمران بن حطان الخارجي، كان أولا من أهل السنة والجماعة فتزوج امرأة من الخوارج حسنة جميلة جدا فأحبها. وكان هو دميم الشكل، فأراد أن يردها إلى السنة فأبت فارتد معها إلى مذهبها
“‘Imran ibn Ḥiṭṭān al-Khaarijee. He was originally among Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah, but then he married a woman from the Khawaarij who was extremely beautiful, so he loved her. And he himself was ugly and misshapen. So he intended to return her to the sunnah, but she adamantly refused, so he defected with her to her way (i.e. became a Khaarijee after having been a scholar of Ahl al-Sunnah!).”

[al-Bidayah w’al-Nihayah 9/64]

Imam al-Dhahabi wrote about him saying:
من أعيان العلماء ، لكنه من رؤوس الخوارج . حدث عن عائشة ، وأبي موسى الأشعري ، وابن عباس . روى عنه : ابن سيرين ، وقتاده ، ويحيى بن أبي كثير

He was one of the most immanent scholars, however he was one of the leaders of the Khawaarij. He narrated from ‘Aa’ishah, Abu Moosaa al-Ash’ari, and ibn ‘Abbaas. And those who narrated from him were: ibn Sireen, Qataadah, and Yahya ibn abi Kathir.

قال أبو داود : ليس في أهل الأهواء أصح حديثا من الخوارج ، ثم ذكر عمران بن حطان ، وأبا حسان الأعرج.

Abu Dawood said, “From among the people of desires, none are more authentic in terms of narrating hadeeth than the Khawaarij“, he then mentioned ‘Imran ibn Ḥiṭṭān and Abu Hasaan al-‘Aaraj.”

قال الفرزدق : عمران بن حطان من أشعر الناس ، لأنه لو أراد أن يقول مثلنا لقال ، ولسنا نقدر أن نقول مثل قوله.

Al-Farzdouq said: ‘Imran ibn Hittaan was one of the most eloquent of people, for if he had wanted to speak like us he could, but we were not able to speak the likes of his speech.

حدث سلمة بن علقمة ، عن ابن سيرين ، قال : تزوج عمران خارجية ، وقال : سأردها ، قال : فصرفته إلى مذهبها.

Salamah ibn ‘Alqamah narrated that ibn Sireen said, “‘Imran married a Khaarijee woman, and he said, ‘I will change her (back to ahl al-sunnah)’, but she converted him to her way.'”

فذكر المدائني أنها كانت ذات جمال ، وكان دميما فأعجبته يوما ، فقالت : أنا وأنت في الجنة ، لأنك أعطيت فشكرت ، وابتليت فصبرت.
Then al-Madaa’ini mentioned that she was very beautiful, and he was extremely ugly. Then she amazed him one day, so she said, ‘You and I will be in Jannah, because you were blessed (with a beautiful wife) and were grateful, and I was tested (with an unattractive husband) and was patient.’

[Siyar ‘Alaam an-Nubala’ 4/213]

After mentioning these quotes, it is useful to remember the guidance of the Prophet concerning marriage when he encouraged us to prioritize deen as a factor in selecting a spouse.

And he also said:
الرَّجُلُ عَلَى دِينِ خَلِيلِهِ فَلْيَنْظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ مَنْ يُخَالِلُ

“A man is upon the deen of his close companion, so carefully consider whom you take as a close companion.” [al-Tirmidhi #2378, Saheeh]

And there is no closer companion than a spouse. May Allah protect us from the trials of a deviant spouse."