Terry Holdbrooks was deployed to the Guantanamo Bay detention center to guard detainees. The Phoenix, Ariz., resident has become a devout Muslim and an unlikely advocate for the prisoners’ rights.
Death threats are just another part of life for Terry Holdbrooks Jr.
The ex-U.S. Army employee converted to Islam in 2003, inspired by the
faith of the Guantanamo detainees he was charged with watching. Since
then, he says he has lost his friends, received violent threats, and
been labeled a “race traitor” online.
But he hasn’t gone quietly. The 29-year-old has done his fair share of
media and has even signed on for a job as a speaker for the Muslim Legal Fund of America. Now the devout Muslim is racking up frequent flyer miles and touring the country with what he calls the “truth about Gitmo.”
“Gitmo was supposed to be a cushy deployment since we were just going
to babysit detainees,” Holdbrooks said. “But it changed me.”
The Phoenix, Ariz., resident spent the year between 2003 and 2004
guarding U.S. military prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. He was often
given the job of escorting detainees to interrogation rooms. He says he
witnessed atrocities committed by his fellow American soldiers that he
never thought were possible.
“I saw people put in stress positions for eight hours until they
defecated themselves,” he said. “Then the guards would come in and
emasculate them.”
He said he saw prisoners shackled to the ground with the air
conditioner set high, then doused with cold water. He said that
menstrual blood was smeared on their faces and that they were forced to
hear the same music on repeat for hours.
Roughly 100 prisoners at the facility are reportedly on a hunger strike to protest their indefinite detentions.
“Gitmo is 100 percent antithetical to the basis of our legal system,” he said. “That’s not the America I signed up to defend.”
While preparing for deployment, Holdbrooks said the Army trained him to
think of the prisoners as the “worst of the worst” and “lower than
humans.”
“They said these were Al Quaida and Taliban, people who hate America and hate freedom,” Holdbrooks said.
But at least 86 of the 166 men currently held in the detention center
have been cleared for release. Some have been held for years without
formal charges. They are unable to transfer out because of restrictions
in their home countries and laws passed by Congress, according to Human Rights Watch.
Despite the trying situations, Holdbrooks noticed that the men he
talked to clung to their faith. He wondered how they could believe that
there was a god who cared about them.
“I had all the freedom in the world,” he recalls. “But I was waking up
unhappy while these men were in cages, smiling and praying five times a
day.”
As a teenager, Holdbrooks had searched for truths in several different
religions. He came to Guantanamo convinced that all monotheistic
religions were evil.
Holdbrooks said he was often responsible for leading detainees to interrogation rooms.
But over the course of several months, as Holdbrooks started speaking
to the detainees and reading the Quran, he began to find some truth in
Islam.
“The Quran is the simplest book in the world to read. It doesn’t have
magic. It doesn’t contradict itself,” Holdbrooks said. “It’s simply an
instruction manual for living.”
The faith lives of the detainees seemed to be proof that the instruction manual could work.
Holdbrooks took the leap in December 2003. In the presence of the
prisoners, he read out a statement of faith that confirmed him as a
Muslim.
His life changed drastically when he came back to America. He said he
spent years trying to drink away memories of Guantanamo. He was
honorably discharged from the Army in October 2005 for “generalized
personality disorder.”
Then, Holdbrooks decided to renew his commitment to Islam. He stopped
drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. He put a stop to promiscuity and
profanity. He found discipline in prayer.
And he started speaking out.
“Islam teaches you that if you see an injustice in the world, you
should do anything within your power to stop it,” Holdbrooks said.
Wary of misinterpretation, Holdbrooks makes sure to speak to reporters
and his lecture audiences with precision. He clarifies everything he
says, knowing all the while every public appearance will result in some
sort of condemnation. Still, he pores through the hundreds of crude
Internet comments to see if someone has heard his message.
“The people who write these negative comments think they’re Islamic
scholars,” Holdbrooks said. “But they’re actually making massive
generalized statements about something they have no idea about.”
His agenda isn’t to promote religion, he said. Instead, he’s thinking
about the human rights of people like Shaker Aamer, a detainees who
turned into his mentor. Aamer, the last British resident at Guantanamo,
has been detained for 11 years. He has never been charged for a crime
and has been cleared for release twice, the BBC reports.
Aamer is now one of the prisoners participating in a massive hunger strike behind bars.
“These things aren’t America,” Holdbrooks said. “It would be wrong if I
sat by and let Gitmo continue to exist or let people think that Islam
is America’s greatest enemy.”
Terry Holdbrooks wrote about his experiences at Guantanamo Bay in the self-published book "Traitor?"which was released this month.
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